This next topic is especially dear to me because of experiences I have personally gone through and witnessed.
I am first going to speak to Mothers of young children desiring to encourage their children to walk in sexual purity and the second part will be to those maybe desiring to, but haven't in the past, whether it was their choosing or not.
My third grade daughter had a book presentation she had to do at her public school and she wanted to do it with a book that spoke Jesus, without maybe directly using his name. We discussed our options and both agreed on this book we have owned for over a decade. Problem was, it was completely falling apart so I ordered a new copy from Amazon and accidentally ordered two.
My husband was happy that happened and wanted to gift one to his young nieces when we went to visit. I had to laugh because when it arrived, our two middle girls read it to Travis and it made him tear up. When I found him later in our room and asked him what his tears were from, he said that book was so beautiful and it really is amazing how much God values purity. Here is a picture of him reading it to everyone when we visited his family.
(I think the boy version of this book is even better and both links can be found here.)
One of my oldest daughters, Saige, is also very outspoken and passionate about this topic as well. She believes walking in this really brought much good fruit, including an incredible marriage. When I asked her what she found to be the most impactful regarding this subject growing up she told me two things had the biggest influence. One of them was a book she read called Authentic Beauty by Leslie Ludy.
She also said that having an older young person mentor her in that area was a very big deal as well. When she was in the tween years, I had a sweet group of friends with daughters that were similar ages and one of them had an older daughter who offered to walk with these young girls for a study on this topic for several months. My daughter thought this was so valuable that now she is married and in her early 20s, she is choosing to do the same thing.
I have known people who kept their virginity until marriage that also ended up having many issues in their marriage because of it. It seems to me that might be because of shame.
I really want to express that shame does not come from God, and that is the last thing that I would ever want to provoke. I know that things happen, and even in the “best” families, when the parents seem to do everything to protect their children, abuse can come in. I really believe that if we take the shame out of the “lack of” purity, we would save our children from much heartache. Shame seems to automatically come with the territory, but if they know that no matter what, we will love and accept them the same as parents, I believe that paves a much more open path for communication.
There are a few resources I would recommend regarding this. There is a book for young children called Yell and Tell, as well as a very difficult to read article found here written by a man that was abused by a youth pastor growing up. It explains from his adult perspective how this pastor groomed him as a young boy. I believe it’s a good read for parents who may not be familiar with signs to look for. There is also another book I recommend to parents that discuss very important areas regarding producing a mindset in children that will steer them away from sexual perversion. It was written to parents of older children who have “Jumped Ship”, but I think it’s a great read for all parents.
My personal experience as a teen Mom brought me into an extremely difficult situation that I remained stuck in for a long time. The problem with sexual sin is that it is one that is done against oneself. It knocks at a persons very core identity, which everything else springs forth from. From what I have seen, the way to true healing and wholeness is to focus on correcting a persons identity and self-worth.
There is a pastor that has an excellent teaching on this subject of purity, especially for those who have already walked away from it, but still have a desire to turn back. It is a bit lengthy, but worth the listen. The more meaty part begins about 8 min in.
My husband and I chose this for our marriage, which is also partly why we didn’t wait years to get married, and I can honestly say that it was most definitely worth the wait. There is just so much beauty and blessing that I have seen for those that chose to walk in this, I want it for everyone. But mostly, I want everyone to know, not only is it possible, but there is SO. MUCH. HOPE and redemption, regardless.
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